People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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