The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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