The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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