I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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