we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
