Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
