I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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