Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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