Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
