i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
