Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize