I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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