I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Terrible idea I love it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
