you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That accounts for only three of the penises
Just pee around me
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
