I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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