She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize