They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
