Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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