Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
50% drunk capacity currently
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
