Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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