I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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