Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i dont even know how to be here
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
