When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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