he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
