His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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