whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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