I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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