I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
