You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
