You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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