I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
