I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
