it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
