So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
