I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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