gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
