Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
