I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I have post one night stand depression
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
