ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
