i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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