You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
