Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
i think im in europe. pls send help
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize