I just saw a hot homeless man
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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