There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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