My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
