3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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