if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
