the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
