I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
