You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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