i think my tv is drunk
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
