my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
