She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
