i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
