dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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