super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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