my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize