Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
