Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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