There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
