His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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