He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
