one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
