I'm going to jail i love you
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
