If that was your dad, he is hot
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
