i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
