I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
