Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize