We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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